The first physical proofs of my book showed up on Saturday.

I’d been tracking the package since Wednesday. Still a little surreal seeing your own book in your Amazon cart, then working its way to your address.

I got the notification that it had arrived while I was at the grocery store. And in a strange and very noticeable way, I wasn’t excited. And I definitely didn’t rush home.

I was nervous.

Nervous because I’ve taken great care to refine and polish something I’ll be proud to give to people, point people to, and personally promote for the foreseeable future.

As it’s gotten closer and closer to the vision I had for it, this book has really become my baby.

But now, as the process speeds up to wind down, all these variables start entering the room.

"Outside influences" as Miss Cleo used to say.

New eyes, hands, partners, all coming in to help, but leaving their fingerprints on “my thing.”

Vendors to help with formatting and file conversions.

Platforms with strict requirements and protocols.

Printers with incredible precision yet also real-world margins of error.

Each of these is a necessary intrusion, but each is still met with a wince.

“Do I trust this person with the spirit and tone of my project?”

“If I take my hands off it, is it going to fall apart?”

“Will each little bump in this last mile leave me with a book I don’t recognize?”

My grip wants to tighten right when I have to let up.

(Parents - is this what sending your kid to college feels like?)

I grabbed the package from the locker downstairs when I got home.

And then I let it sit unopened on my kitchen table for 6 hours.

I knew if I even peeked at it and that first print revealed a web of tedious, unforeseen fixes to untangle, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the client work I had to do that afternoon.

So later in the evening, I finally tear open the brown package and my two copies pop out.

(Yes, two, to be able to see if any printing flaw was structural or an anomaly.)

And yeah, the printed colors were a bit off vs. the screen.

Yeah, the alignment needed a nudge.

Yeah, I caught a stray colon that somehow survived more than a dozen proofs.

But as I flipped through it, it was a book.

My words. My frameworks. My visuals. My book.

The content felt familiar in all the ways I should’ve expected.

And the book, finally in my hands, felt novel in ways I certainly didn’t.

And then, just like anything we do as soloists, the iteration continued.

💡

-Wes